Just to get my thoughts and emotions out there… Love isn’t all bliss, most of the time it sucks :\

I want to write out my feelings, but right now they’re all over the place. I got played, lied to, and now I’m emotionally unstable. My heart is half stone cold while the other half is soft with emotions (and at the drop of lint will I tear up) – yeah it’s THAT bad. We held hands, hugged (embraced each other)… and how the f*** do your siblings not know your relationship status?!… like even his brother and other friend were sure he ‘liked’ me, but it was all a show. I know that my emotions won’t leave me right away and that’s it’s going to be hard. I want to show that I’m strong. 19 days… In just 19 days, I find that he has a girlfriend (a long distance) relationship at that. We didn’t even last till 100 days. I thought he may have had a girlfriend, but he never hinted until yesterday… wtf like you shouldn’t have even tried to get to know me the way you did if you have a flippen gf. Yes I should have asked, but I thought that maybe just maybe you two were broken up. (Fat chance that happening) I know that we have somewhat of a language barrier, but he didn’t seem that sad that he had led me on. I was his sister’s friend, before he entered the picture so I won’t be ruining that relationship because of him. NO WAY! His brother didn’t do anything wrong, so I’m not blocking him out of my life either. I just need to have my heart/mind/emotions set to off whenever I see him. I’m glad I didn’t tell too many ppl. I only told my boss, my sis, three close friends and my old principal who I’m close to. I feel like I should tell them, just not right now (I’ll tell them when I’m ready – whenever that will be. 

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